feel you've been lacking sex, drugs, violence and carnage in your life all at the same time? ... keep reading..
10 to 20 Hours
The Bottom Line:
I've deliberately postponed voicing an opinion on – for me – the long awaited return of the Saints Row franchise. This game was indeed a first day purchase for me (both copies, as this is a co-op show-down that both my wife and I had been looking forward too cranking our xboxs into gear for, for some time).
Immediately in awe and adoration, of Volition Inc.'s utter and complete ruthless disregard for popular decency. The developer's clear refusal to buckle under the majority of this industry's - moreover, the various censoring agencies! – Stifling, overbearing, "grown-up / adult gamer's enjoyment ruining" weight and scrutiny.
… and thus delivered, the chance to experience some very deliberate, very intentional, blatant "over 18's only" animated brutality, … un-guarded sexual perversity, shocking imagery and foul languaged dialogue
Bristling with vehicular and Hoplological incentive… more beastly cars, bikes, planes, helicopters, tanks, guns, clubs, missiles than you can shake a giant, veiny – alarmingly accurately motion animated – purple "fun-stick" at….
A game who's primary objective, is to not only deliver a VAST collection of tools / scenarios and situations that would shock and horrify most decent (* cough… UP-TIGHT cough… BORING …! cough cough *) audiences… but whole heartedly ENCOURAGE you cruise, use & abuse them all. With extreme prejudice and continuity.
It's not often I get the opportunity to type words / phrases like: Prostitution, gang warfare, unprovoked (and very premeditated) violence against innocents, kidnap, theft, nudity, fetishism, drugs, in a Gamespot review or post…
No, this isn't an itinerary for the ideal fantasy stag-night. OR an itemisation of most of the world's politician's expenses claims… No, these are the chemical ingredients, thrown into an atomic reactor and served up with a large side-order of hilariously choreographed slapstick and mayhemic plot-lines.
Welcome to Saints Row the Third, and the unrestricted free-roam city of Steelport.
Anyone familiar with the series will know off –the-bat, that this game's story continues to chart the exploits of the infamous street gang, "the saints". And your protagonist character's position of head of that gang.
Rather than the rags to riches story of the first two games however, the game kicks off with the Saints already rocking the lime-light love in a big way. Actually launching your game from your penthouse stronghold (serving as a safe house / car-park, gang hangout, and save / point from which to start each boot-up and play game).
I personally, am a helpless sucker for game customisation. No surprise to read then that one of the many reasons for my buying this game, was owed to the franchise yet-again giving the gamer the tools to exploit a deep, comprehensive character customisation pallet.
Volition has pushed this mechanism a little harder this time round. Going as deep as eye-colour and as… erm… well, obtuse as even providing a "sex appeal" (bigger / smaller!) slider. … (use your imagination there dude… Not much more I can say about that without having my review deleted….!)
Once again, a lot has been borrowed from "that other free roam, modern city gangster" game that we all know and love. In that the mission launching and layout is this time done from a PDA / Smartphone device, in-game. Who's home page does everything from transfer good hard cash from your bank account into spendable currency, to level-up unlocks, to your map and GPS, and (VERY Cool) your NPC / followers speed-dial phone book (calling for back-up has never been so fun). You can even call for your gang to deliver a vehicle
Once again, the missions themselves (both side-missions and the main story thread) are widely varied. All with a central theme of "utter chaos and outrage"
You will find yourself the driver of a gimp-cart in a race to escape a shootout, at a suddenly gang-war-torn fetish club.
You will find yourself the pilot of attack helicopters, charged with the task of blowing rival gang vehicles off the road while your homies makes their rounds on a city wide drug delivery schedule…
Pimp missions, Tank mayhem (destroy EVERYTHING for points… IN A TANK!!!! A… TANK.!!!!), assassinations, gang turf take-overs, and of course, … the ludicrous "professor genki's super ethical reality climax"…! The mutant offspring of a Japanese Game-show and Arnold Schwarzenegger's "Running Man" (if you can imagine such a thing)
The only detractions from enjoying the utter carnage of these pursuits and story-missions I can report, is for my own personal odds with combat.
As fun, fast paced, and challenging I have found the HUGE gang throw-downs that flash-off during my time in the map, I do wish the effects of your protagonist's fire-power had been tweaked just a little.
By that I mean that, shooting (in particular) lends it's self a little too heavily to a more cartoon'y style of result. I personally feel that too many bullets are required to put an enemy down (apart from a successful headshot, which will immediately cap a low level foe). I kind of wish Volition had opted to dial back both the protagonist's AND the enemies' hit-point meters, in place instead of a more obviously damaged character on the receiving end of less bullets…. As it stands, unloading an entire clip of rounds into someone, and their still being fully upright, really seems to take the success-factor out of your shooting.
As much as I do enjoy the variation and chaos of missions / side-missions and activities available,… I must also write that I "am" just slightly disappointed in how those missions play-out. Where-as the main story thread will vary the tasks you are set, and thus provide a more ambiguous collection of "events" and moments to be entertained by… I had found that non-story activities in steelport "CAN" become a little on the repetitive side
But those alone are my gripes.
The visuals are plush, sparkling, VIBRANT in their often neon presentation. And rarely suffer from any technical glitches.
Controls are thorough, and un-complicated. Vehicles are a pleasure to drive (even my wife, who usually opts to take the shotgun seat, being a series race-losing, car-crashing menace to any game-world road or sky, managed to get the hang of our cars, bikes, tanks and helo's!)
No. This is a damn fine game. With more to offer than other's of it's same genre, simply by provision of such a FILTHY and degrading theme.
Do you watch and enjoy heartless, boundary pushing cartoons such as Family Guy, or southpark? Or do you prefer a more wholesome, less offensive brand of comedy? If your answer is yes to the former, then this is for you.
This game is a dirty burger. Not a salad.
May contain nuts
Is Saints Row: The Third better than Mafia 2?
20 to 40 Hours
The Bottom Line:
Saints Row: The Third is an amazing game. Not only is it one of the best games this year, but it very well might be the best sandbox game ever. How can I make such claims? Well, read and find out.
So what's the story behind the game? Well, when a bank heist goes wrong, The Protagonist, Gat, and Shaundi are captured the Syndicate, a mixture of 3 gangs. The Protagonist and Shaundi escape from a plane owned by the Syndicate, which leads to an epic sky diving battle. After the Battle, The Protagonist and Shaundi land in a town called "Steelport", and decide to take it over from The Syndicate. When a game starts off with a Skydiving battle, you know that it's just going to get better from there, and it does. For instance, there are several Memorable and Hilarious moments in Saints Row: The Third, like the Japanese Commercial and the "Zimos ride" parts.
Steelport is a large city, filled with fun and over the top vehicles and weapons. However, Steelport is also home to some of the worst AI I've seen in a while. I often caught myself standing right next to an enemy gang member, shooting at him, while he does nothing but look forward.
Saints Row: The Third has a great cast of characters with great voice acting. It was really nice to see characters like Pierce and Shaundi return, but Saints Row: Third also introduces great new characters like Kinzie and Oleg. Even annoying characters like Josh and Matt are somewhat lovable.
Saints Row: The Third is a very addicting game. If you want to, you can play it for 20 hours straight, and still be having a fun time with Assassinations, Insurance Fraud, or you could just go around and act like a idiot! Whatever you do, you'll have fun.
Another good thing about the story is that sometimes you get to make your own choices. This is a great add-on to the series and sometimes leaves you with questions, like "Should I blow up this tower, or keep it for myself?" The only real bad part about the story is that it is extremely short. You can beat the entire story in under 12 hours, but still it's an open-world game so you never really run out of things to do. Even with all of this, Saints Row: The Third is the best in its series.
So if you're looking for an epic, hilarious, over the top game, go get Saints Row the Third and you'll be insuring yourself a great time. I give Saints Row: The Third a 9.0/10.
Completely ridicilous, and that's a good thing in this case, Saints Row The Third is a lot of fun.
10 Hours or Less
The Bottom Line:
"Just plain fun"
I was a big fan of Saint's Row 2, for me, it was the most fun sandbox game since San Andreas, I was actually a little sceptical to Saints Row The Third, I was afraid it would be too silly, too stupid, obnoxiously immature and too random for it's own good, well, it IS incredibly immature, it IS very random and it IS really silly, but what do you know? The things I expected to hate I ended up appreciating, not so much the adolescent humour though, but the silliness goes so far, completely unashamedly to places you would never imagine, it becomes sort of brilliant. I won't spoil too much, but when you get to the final mission, that is literally out of this world, I knew this was something special, you're constantly interested in seeing what the game will throw at you next, the variety is pretty good as far as these kinds of games go, there's of course the standard third person run and gun shooting and driving various multiple vehicles. But there are alsoTron levels, skydiving while shooting enemies, zombies and a plethora of recurring activities. Now, the story I didn't care for at all, I mean, the important life or death choices you have to make along the way are not that relevant, because you cannot really take the game seriously when it wants you too, it's a good thing it only gets serious for a few brief moments, then it's back to the madness. The things you can do, the customization options, this is a demented playground, that can even be enjoyed in multiplayer. The game is fairly long as far as games go nowadays, I finished it in a little under 10 hours, without exploring the city all that much, there's a ton of stuff to do and unlock.
The game looks pretty good, I mean, it has some rough edges, but the city can look fairly impressive at times, flying in a helicopter at night around the massive neon-lit buildings and all. Unfortunately, or actually sometimes it can be a good thing, but I did encounter several glitches, characters getting stuck in walls and vehicles, flying around in mid-air and stuff like that, some of it looked funny though, and it's not a major problem, one glitch forced me to restart from the last checkpoint as the guy I was supposed to defeat all of a sudden quit taking damage, but these are very minor issues, not even "issues", as the game is very generous with checkpoints. Some of the later missions have numerous enemies that can take a lot of hits, so it's a good thing that the AI on your side is, if not terribly clever, they usually can take care of themselves...most of the time, the AI can get a little dense on occasion, but that's fine. I did not expect to enjoy Saints Row The Third as much as I did, I thought the weird, silly elements would detract or ruin the experience, and yet they only made it so much better, or at least more fun. I am anxious to see what's in store for the Saints next, I mean, how can you top this? They didn't just go over the top, they went over the top of the top, okay, that made about as much sense as this game, but who cares when it's this entertaining?
Have you ever wondered what drugs are like? Play Saints Row The Third.
40 to 100 Hours
The Bottom Line:
I have never taken drugs in my life until Christmas day and now I am addicted! The drug is called Saint's Row The Third and it's insane, it's fun, funny and addictive.
When I first played on it I thought that the visuals were poor and the physics were almost the same as GTA San Andreas but thinking about it the game doesn't need brilliant visuals it's cartoon like and brilliant!
The story line for me is great but could do with more missions, for e.g racing, more decker user-web fighting and a few more boss missions, something along the lines of Matt Miller having a personalized Brute bodyguard so like a right hand man or henchman.
Some of the side-missions are brilliant but can be repetative and others are just annoying especially Snatch when your picking up pig faced prostitutes with an overall IQ of -1 they can't even walk up to a car door and open it sometimes!
The Avatar customization is great but a few things for me were missing such as more voices such as; Asian (Chinese or Middle Eastern) European, British Northerner (A scouse accent would be ace for the game) and finally a British southern gangster voice, YOU GET MEH? Also it would be good if you could adjust your height.
And the last thing I would change is the amount of Pro, Genki's walking around. Are you thinking what I'm thinking?
I LOVE THIS GAME<br />
100 or More Hours
The Bottom Line:
"Hard to describe"
i love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game love this game i would giveaway mt gamecube to have this game.I realy realy realy realy realy love this game